not everyone is going to like me. oh. my. gosh.

Hello Journal, so I've realized that of late I have added a lot of depression ensuing or possibly...condemning blog posts that just show that I'm cynical, and I'm stupid. I mean really, I don't know anything. And all these blog posts could be are a way of me expressing how smart I think I am and loading a bunch of possible crap onto a wed page. Great. But then, I think about the fact that possibly nobody REALLY knows anything. And then I think, then what is the point of anything?! And then I remember that there is a god. And, so I will continue writing out of my butt, because since I have nothing else to do, I might as well talk about something I may or may not have any experience and/or knowledge of, but an opinion acting as if I do.

So, Journal, after that little side track, I want to talk about the fact that as hard as I try, not everybody is going to like me. I can love people as much as I want and I can put all the effort I possibly can into one person just thinking that I would be a worthwhile friend, and they will not budge. We are a fallen world I suppose, but it really hit me like a school bus when this epiphany came. I mean, of course not EVERYONE is going to like me. Now, certain people it's more obvious why they wouldn't like me....per say, terrorists...we have a few contrasting beliefs that would most likely put a damper on our friendship, but then there are those who I just cannot figure out.

And it's usually these people that I will try the hardest to get to know, because all I want is an explanation for myself. Ha! When I was younger (this year) I used believe that I had file cabinets in my head that I stored files on everyone I knew, and some people had one little file, and some people had a whole drawer. Now, there were people that it didn't matter how much I knew about them and sometimes I knew way too much...like Orlando Bloom...I was young. And then there were people that I would do ridiculous things like, friend them on FaceBook and ask them where I knew them from just to start a potential "I know you" thing. It wasn't because I WANTED to look like I was stalking them or even worse LIKED them, it was just because I like to know people and I want people to want to know me. Am I conceited? We are a fallen world.

Journal, possibly my tweeny antics of getting to know people...like pretty much technologically (virtually?) bumping into them to make them aware of my existence so that we would be acquaintances is a little over board, but it's worked before and now I've realized that if it doesn't work every time, it doesn't just mean that I'm still freakish, but it also demonstrates that not everyone will be my friend. And Journal, I'm okay with that.

Until next time Journal, be friendly...to everyone! :) Wanna be friends?

guess what?! i actually care about what i look like.

Dear Journal, it is kinda interesting when you hear all the people who try and tell you that God doesn't care what you look like on the outside and therefor you really don't/shouldn't exert that much energy trying to look good. Now I know there are people who cross the line, getting boob jobs or new faces or bla bla bla, but then there are also those who are on the negative scale who almost try to look bad to make it seem like they really don't care! But Journal, I like to look at it this way. God gives us our body as...a rental. We use it in life when we need it, but really it belongs to Him. So, let's say you have a rental car, and you're on your trip, and you just decide that you'll not wash it and write "wash me" on the back window, leave all your trash inside of it and destroy the seats, and you even crash it a few times, then bring it back to the dealership. And, SUPRISE! They are po'd to the max. Well, I'm pretty sure God would be pissed if we trashed our rental and brought it back to Him a mess.
Journal, I always hear girls say that they don't want to wear makeup because one day when they are married, their husband will wake up to someone he's never seen before. Well, ladies...maybe if you didn't plaster on mascara and eyeliner and not look like freaking wannabe barbie everyday, and just made it natural and enhanced what you do have, not add on what you don't, you wouldn't have to worry as much about it and at the same time you can be beautiful. I'm pretty sure it's impossible for God to make someone ugly. Like really ugly. But then why do I see people that make me want to rip my eyes out? Because they either 1) let themselves go, or 2) they try so hard to be unnaturally beautiful, it starts catching up with them and pretty much guarantees that the public eye will be scarred by their decision to leave the house that day. I mean really, sometimes I feel offended by someone from just looking at them.
I don't have much more to say on this topic, I really just wanted to clarify that it is OK to want to look good and actually take a little effort in the morning to get ready instead of rolling out of bed five minutes after class starts and...gracing...everyone with your presence. Even though you shouldn't worry too much what others think, just do it for yourself, and more importantly God. It will be appreciated by Him, by your boyfriend/anyone else, and me. Haha!
Until next time Journal, stay beautiful.

i'm feeling like God has something to say.

I'm not sure what it is Journal, but I'll guess I'll just write. So, today I woke up and looked in the mirror and in my head said, "DANG! I look goooood tooooday! Yeah!" Bahaha and then I thought about how many people say that out loud and personally I've done this and not thought that they were the most attractive people, and said," Awww you look pretty everyday!" but really been thinking, "Bless her heart poor thing." And so, I was wondering how many people thought that of me, but then did an OH SO CLICHE internal statement of "Who cares, because no matter what I'm beautiful in God's eyes." And really a lot of the time when people say that it's because really they can't get over the fact that they either think they are above it all, or they really like looking at themselves in the mirror that day and can't possibly imagine someone not wanting THAT. I mean really, LOOK AT ME! Daaaang girl. So, my story continues, I get into the car and run my fingers through my hair because I'm just THAT cool today (my self-esteem at an all-day high) and then....my fingers get stuck. They get stuck in the rat's nest that must have crept it's way into my lion's main during the night and being in a rush this morning I skipped the hair brushing part of my routine. After trying to manually pry the thing apart, I got it...and the back of my head also looked like I got into a fight with a bear with hair tangling CLAWS!
I put in a lot of effort to try to make myself look a little better, and not only did it look bad in the first place and I made it worse, but I saw it getting worse but I kept going at it because I thought maybe if I just did a little more damage in the end it would all end up ok. My hair would look great like the rest of me. And it didn't. And it hurt because any girl will tell you that when you have to handle one of those suckers, it requires tug-of-war skills and a lot of patience. And when you have neither, you tend to rely on the abilities you DO have. And when you take it into your hands, you end up messing things up.
So, if you're tagging along with the moral of my little tale, I guess at this point, you're wondering (just like me) where the analogy fits in with the fact that no matter what you did, even if you were patient and waited to even touch it until you got home. Well...Oh! God speaking...Well, nobody is perfect. Sometimes God is going to humble you, and that doesn't mean He doesn't love you or isn't there, but he's showing you that He is more important than you're problems, and if you lose sight of that and forget about that (let alone trusting that he'll work things out) then, you're heart is in the wrong place, and you're letting your head mess with YOU a little too much.
Journal, this is all I have for today, but until next time, forget about the hairy mess, and remember that GOD has it in control. When you're in a rush, you forget about the important things...
I guess God DID have something to say!

the ugly truth.

I watched that movie tonight. Offensive. Funny and I personally have a weakness for Gerald Butler, I mean LOOK at him. And then I remembered that it was so not real. I mean, wow, if that was what guys really were like all the time, then there wouldn't be anything real. The ugly truth is that you cannot have love just based on looks and how you can manipulate someone into liking you by playing with their...sinful nature. I mean, let's say you (a "nice" girl) meet a really cool guy, and this is when you're acting like yourself (if you even know what that is) and you decide you like him back. Then you go prancing around in almost nothing and then playing with some guys head and then bla bla bla you get his attention because DUH any guy is going to fall for that and then you get to the part where you can't hold up your pretense anymore/you think he likes you and then he says the OH SO CLICHE "Slow down, you know, you've changed...I liked the old you...." And then boo hooo hooooooo and then you go back to normal in your pity partiness and then the magic fairy sends Mr. Wonderful back to you and ta DA! You're in love again. And happily ever after. Show the credits.
Really? First off if that's what you want in a relationship, then I'd join a convent. Because secondly, since that kind of thing NEVER happens, nope never, you'll most likely end up with one of the two next options. 1) You'll change for some guy you like, and then eventually wind up pregnant and he'll leave you because he isn't THAT kind of guy. 2) You'll change and nothing will happen and you're self-esteem will plummet and then you become a sad desperate "I've got a cloud over my head" girl that even though you think you have an awful life, you're just embarrassing yourself, and no one is going to tell you because you either don't have those kind of friends, or you did and they tried to tell you and you reacted in a way in which that friendship was (as like I say) TERMINATED.
Here is my tip for all girls: Don't go around feeling outspokenly sorry for yourself because you don't have a boyfriend. It's so annoying. If the only way you are going to find self worth is if a guy likes you/wants to bang you even, then you are living for the wrong thing. Before you can even start to like guys you have to LOVE God. Yep, and that's the only cliche I'll say I promise. Don't say I DO love God, I just feel like no one is ever going to like THIS. First, if you love God, you'll trust Him to not only find you a guy that will love for who you are with no makeup on and when you feel fat and ugly and think you're the most gorgeous women he ever wants to be with....BUT also, you will find your own self worth in the fact that God created you and to say that you are not good enough is not only insulting to your own self-esteem, but to Him. Gosh, this blog is getting long.... WRITE A BOOK DEVON.
Ok, to abruptly end my advice session that I myself need to take...God knows his plan for you. Don't think that because you're a respectable girl who hasn't given herself away/ or a girl who has and feels like she's worth nothing that God doesn't have someone perfect out there for you. And PLEASE don't say the whole "I'm not meant to get married....I'm meant to stay alone."PLEASE! That is another ridiculous form of self-pity because if you want to marry someone honestly, that means that you're meant to be with someone. I won't argue that everyone is meant to get married, because some people honestly just don't want to get married, and that's between them and God, but if you truly do want to be with someone, God WILL figure it out for you. The ugly truth is that you have to let Him.

Well, Journal, this is the first time I've addressed you in this post. Until next time...Fall in love with Who you're supposed to love. It'll work out.

incredible.

Before I attended Biola, Journal, I was a christian, and I knew who God was, but I had not come to the full respect and gratefulness that I find myself in now. It wasn't about living for Him, it was about surrendering my life and being apathetic towards God's plan for my life, and in result, I was apathetic to holding close to the bond I had made with Him. But then I came to Biola, and maybe it's not just the school being an amazing place, or the people who have driven me to pursue Him further, but the little things that He does for me everyday that prove to me that I am so unworthy of a love like this.
Tonight, I came to my room to see my fish belly up, gasping in final breaths. I didn't want my fish to die, he is like the friend who is always there and then as I was praying over his tank (yes, God cares about Figgero) I realized that God is my only constant, and that everything at this school, this school itself could be gone in a moment, everything I know could be gone in a moment, except for one thing and that is God. And i do not deserve it at all, and there is no way that I can repay Him, except for my love to Him and my love for others.
And so, after praying for the last month and a half about everything, and really feeling closer to God than ever before, I started to get the feeling that art was not where I was supposed to be anymore. That, yes, God wanted me to be a art major for a little while so that I could see that my "passion" was not really a passion at all. Art is a very introverted major, you are by yourself a lot and it seems like when you create art you are expressing yourself, and I am not trying to bring down Christian artists, or even any artist for that matter, but I am trying to say that the gifts God has so graciously given me not only include my artistic abilities, but my ability to connect, empathize, and just be with people. I love art, and I am still an artist, but I'm not an art major. It is introverted and I'm definitely an extrovert, and also, I'm not trying to show who I am through what I do, but who God is. Art gets me away from the world and even as I hard as I try not to, it gets me away from God. The art world seems to be so stuffed up and demanding of excellence or bust, and if I'm trying to win in the world, I come in last in the Lord's eyes...Last time I checked, that is not what I want.
And what am I going to do then, you ask Journal? Well, I am going to be an ICS (Intercultural Studies) major and get a minor in art, this is so I can refine my skills, but also not let my first semester go to waste, and God so perfectly planned it all. Starting with ICS next semester, I will not only be taking less credits and having more time to really put my all into everything I need to do, but also, I will have time for the art minor because with both, I am taking less credits than I would if I did the full art major. I am doing ICS because it is the way that I can at least glorify the Lord since I am in no way capable of repaying my debt to Him. By reciprocating the love that He gave to me without hesitation, I can't imagine not living my life letting Him shine through me.
What did I learn at school today, Journal? That I am so unimportant in the grand scheme of God's great plan and the fact that I have grace is beyond indescribable and that I willingly will do all I can in my life to not live for myself, but live for Him. And that's totally not "nothing".

P.S. Either we have an amazing God, or Figgero is a great actor, because right now, he is swimming around like he didn't almost DIE! Crazy. Love.

Until next time Journal, live for the Lord your God.

i cannot depend on myself.

Dear Journal, today I realized that in my "being on top of things" and turning in my Torrey Paper extra early through the online submission, that I completely dismissed the fact that I needed a hard copy turned in as well. And Journal, the worst part was getting the email. I felt like I had failed Torrey, that as of now, I had made the BIGGEST fumble of my life so far, and the whole time I thought I was doing everything right. And in that Journal, I think God wanted me to learn something: That even when you think you've got it all under control and can do everything yourself, you can't. I had gotten into a "GO ME!" state of mind, and forgotten that the only way I even got this paper done, the only reason I was in Torrey, the only reason I was at BIOLA, was because of God. I had made my success about God, so this is a formal apology, not because I want people to see how trusting in God I am in my time of need, but to publicly reveal my humiliation and most of all my...forgetfulness. My forgetfulness of my paper and my forgetfulness of God's FAITHFULNESS and his grace and provisions. I'm for sure that God has a sense of humor, and I'll laugh a little about it, but He also is getting the message across.

Journal, if this DOES mean that I get kicked out of Torrey, I will be heart broken, and I will have lost $150 worth of books...(ok, sorry, that's pathetic, haha!), but I feel like that is God's justice and His will. And I'll get over it, and HE will get me back on my feet. Its not about me, and I forget that so often. I want so badly to be able to make my life about me, most humans do, but really, even more I want my life to be about giving glory to He who gave me a life that I can be so selfish with. And to get what you want, you have to work at it. Life is difficult. Life is about relationships. Relationships are difficult. Get over it. Then you can enjoy it.

Until next time Journal, I'm going to be praying my butt off that I can stay in Torrey and not have my mentor hate me. :/ And also I'm gonna try and laugh a little, because other than what God will permit me to do to fix it, all I can do is what I love second best and that is laugh.

grateful.

Well, Journal, Thanksgiving is coming up and I am very excited. This means that I can see my family and my friends that I haven't directly seen in three months. I cannot believe it has even been that long, I cannot believe that I am actually here at this school and that I get to be here. I always had a weird feeling it wouldn't happen, but it did. And I am so grateful for it.

I've learned something about being grateful, and it's that it's not about feeling like you're grateful and saying so that you can convince everyone else, but it's actually feeling it and when you think about all you have you realize all the problems in your life are really not that bad, because you have so much that you can be happy about. Grateful=happiness. If you are not happy, you are not grateful, and if you are reading this right now, if you are walking and can see and hear and if you are breathing, you have something to be grateful about.

Now we all forget about these things we should be grateful because the world tells us we can and should have more, and I'm not saying you can't have more, but before you say you NEED it, think about it, DO you? Journal, my message I'm trying to get across to everyone, including myself, is to appreciate everything you have. We are blessed beyond our imaginations. Our very existence is a blessing. Happy Thanksgiving Journal, and until next time, be grateful. :)

Facebook me about it!

Journal, I'm pretty sure on a weekly basis I'm on Facebook enough that had that time been spent with the person instead of just "facebooking" them, I might actually appear to have a life. I mean, we're sometimes just a dorm away, sitting on our computers, chatting it up, when we both could actually get off our lazy butts and find each other.
I'm pretty sure A LOT of people are on Facebook enough to say this is true too. Why is it that we are so addicted to communication source that allows us to "Like" something by pressing a button and "poke"someone who is on the other side of the world? Have we been so accustomed to staying as physically far away from relationships as possible that we don't even realize how bad it is? I mean, I can call my friend and tell her over the phone that I'm going to the Caf in a few minutes and she can text me when she is running a few minutes late because she was skyping with her other friend. When we finally meet we can talk about the funniest video we saw on YouTube, and then stop in our track to go and watch this. Then we can realize the caf is closed and just go on pizzahut.com and order food that we can track the order of until it gets to our school, then we receive a call from the pizza man who is trying to locate Alpha Chi on his GPS, and we make the effort to meet him outside.
This is not about Facebook, Journal! This is about our world's dependence on technology! If computers just crashed, people would die. Not only because hospital equipment could go down, but the stress of not having an immediate connection to your life and the world would just break people. I remember a few years back, I heard on the news of some girl who took her own life because MySpace went down for like... EIGHT hours. No offense to the girl, but really? Journal, YOU are what I depend on to rant my most likely unimportant and relatively unnoticed opinons of the rest of the world's problems because I can't deal with my own because I am too busy on this stinking computer!
I can't say anything else but HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! Technology. Until next time Journal, live a little.

He loves me...He loves me not.

Recently, Journal, I've been presented with many occurrences of "marriage talk" and "dating talk" and bla bla bla. Biola has their "ring by spring" joke and rumor that girls who attend Biola are just looking to be a pastor's wife. We have the Alpha Chi stereotype that all girls are boy crazy and if a guy wants a girlfriend quick they need just walk down a hall. The pressure of finding your life partner seems an underlying concept that is just called a "stereotype" because really, Journal, everyone knows it's true for the majority. Probably twice a day at least I will hear girls talking about this guy or that and how they "don't want to get married until they are graduated" however, if God "shows them the right person..." Students here cannot decide for themselves whether or not they want to play into the tradition, so instead they just play it safe with the "if God wants me to, I will" card.
Sorry Journal, I'm sure I've used "quotes" enough in this one post for about five...but I couldn't really think of any other way to get this across. So, Journal, what do I think about it, you ask? Well, I'm not sure whether to call this stereotypical or unstereotypical, but honestly, I don't think you should even date in college, let alone get married. Why am I any different than all the other girls hiding the fact they really want to date? Because I can back my position up with solid, passionate opinion! Yeah.
I guess I'll tell you my opinion. So, I don't want to date in college because there is no point unless I'm ready to get married. And I'm not. I know people like to say you should date so you can get to know what you like in guys, but honestly, that's dumb. There is nothing you can't learn from a guy when he is just your friend than if you were dating him. If anything, Journal, I think that you can learn more because you see them for who they are, not who they are trying to be to impress you. If you have those four years or however many to get to know this guy as your friend, then once you decide that you want to date them, 1) you'll really know if you want to date them and 2) you'll know if they start changing once you are dating for whatever reasons. Dating shouldn't be a time of learning who they are as a person, but who they are as a possible...husband.
I guess I should wrap this up, but all I'm trying to say is that girls tend to rush into relationships because all they really want is attention from a guy (you can get that from a guy FRIEND) and they are excited at first, but then it dies and they get their heart broken and then they move on to some other person they don't' know. But how exciting would it be to actually know this guy and get to date him after you both know you want to be with each other. God says that patience is a virtue, however, last time I checked Journal, it wasn't a very practiced one. If people were more careful about who they wanted to be with, maybe the divorce rate wouldn't be at 50% or whatever it is. Or marriages would just be happier. I think when we are pulling petals off a flower and reciting "He loves me, he loves me not..." we manipulate the outcome because we want what we want. Sound familiar?
Who knows Journal, maybe I'll completely ignore my own advice and be dating someone next week. But until then, I'm staying true to what I believe because if you think about it, it kinda makes a lot of sense. Until next time Journal, stay single and happy!

happy halloween. no really.

So, here I am, Journal, finally able to sit down and do work that doesn't have to do with CandyDandyLand or little screaming children or people's last minute costumes and yet, even as I travel far from Alpha to work, everywhere people are dressed up in their this and that costumes, some have far more skin showing than should be, and others are just...creepy. There are the lovely select few who don't celebrate Halloween, hanging out in the caf with other non-believers (haha!), but I don't know any of them and so I just stay here and people watch and have people come by feeling sorry for me, but why? I'm doing what most do on any other day... I guess. Feel sorry for yourself when you have work to do tomorrow morning.

Well Journal, Voldemort just walked by and he has a cellphone and is talking in a much higher pitched voice than the original as he waves his wand around talking with whoever. And then someone I don't know in some weird outfit decided to try and scare me, and he just realized he doesn't know me either. So it was a combined reward of one) giving me a heart attack and two) making an awkward situation for the both of us. Well done sir, well done.

The benefit of all this, I'll probably get fat off the leftover candy this week, the little kids will have the time of there lives and best of all Journal, I don't have to clean up. Happy Halloween all!

Wow, if they let ME in...

It's a very uninteresting experience sitting in a room for three hours twice a week as a teacher shows you all the cool things he can do with photoshop and flash player, expect you to learn from his greatness and then, when you don't, mark you down for some absurdity, like stuttering. I'm sorry, sir, I can't help it if I'm not the best speaker. Last time I checked, however, I'm an art major, not a powerpoint presentation major. But, I suppose I must be patient. Well journal, maybe this will turn into a Karate Kid thing, maybe these dumb assignments will make me be able to defend myself against the "dark arts..." Ok, sorry Journal.
But, I want to make a point about education in general Journal. I feel like even in this class, this boring almost unnecessary 1/8 of my day, I'm still learning more than I did in most classes in high school. I have found that in college Journal, school isn't about just getting by and getting a little better than "by" so you can go to a decent school. In high school, you basically learn: how to cheat, how to write an "A" paper on a book you read on SparkNotes, how to convince a teacher that they said the test was next week, and best of all, how to know exactly how many more minutes you have to endure a class period. Journal, it's appalling.
I mean when I came to Biola and started Torrey, I felt like the most unprepared person in the whole program. When I was accepted, based on my knowledge of my own schooling and skills, I thought the program was less credible because they accepted someone like me. I mean, they asked a question about "moral absolutes" and I had to google what that even was before I could begin to answer how it played a role in my life. I felt bad, it was like I had tricked them into thinking I was smart.
Journal, I think that they should make education more like Torrey, even for pathetic public schools like mine, they should make education like it was before 50 years ago when everything started to take trip on a downward slope. Maybe I wouldn't be sitting in this class writing a blog instead of paying attention because my mind has be brainwashed to not be able to care.

I Wish I Could Live At Disneyland!

I am so privileged having the "Happiest Place on Earth" a mere ten minute drive away. All I need is a ride there (R.I.P. Sadie), a few friends, and my handy-dandy season pass, and I am in for a night of joy and wonderful-ness. It might be the bonding time during hour and a half waits for popular rides, or the redeeming of our well earned money for a $5 bite of DoleWhip, or even the close knit community of thousands working together to get through Adventure Land without being stampeded upon that makes the experience of Disneyland one of a kind and quite unforgettable. Don't get me wrong Journal, the magical world does have it's problems too, but those are just little issues you forget as you gorge yourself on an $8 turkey leg.

Journal, do you get my point? I mean, what IS Disneyland really? Its more than a theme park. If your heart so desired you could live there. Get a job as a button pusher and learn how to make a small child smile, live in the nearby Disney hotel, buy your clothes in one of many specialty shops in the park, obviously eating is not an issue, and should you need a vacation, no problem just transfer to another Disney world. Or even better, climb aboard "It's a Small World" and you'll get all the way around the world in like, what, five minutes?

Journal, I do love Disneyland, even if I visit the place more often than I visit home, but really Disneyland is more than a theme park, in some cases it could be a lifestyle. I guess that would be the "Happiest Life on Earth!" But would it be? Disneyland is great for a getaway every now and then, but to be immersed in so much material goodness and live life in a object of bought joy, I think "happiness" would get old quick. Maybe some people dream about that, maybe that's where their heart is. But really, the song is "A dream is a wish your HEART makes", not "your wallet makes."

Until next time journal, be happy! :)

Thank you Chimes!

I would like to offer a moment of silence for the soon to be state of my dear Sadie. Within the month I'm sure she'll be shipped by the state of California to a junk yard where they will slice her and crunch her, crumple and cube her, and the car I spent years learning to drive in will look like a turd that would come from an oversized robot elephant.

Insert moment of silence here.

In other news, I have plenty to rant about Journal. My first order of business is, of course, to address a few issues the reside in my current residence, Biola University. Now obviously, THANK YOU LORD FOR BIOLA!!! But, it has come to my attention that they will be changing the mascot's costume from it's current lovable, yet fierce recognizable eagle that's snarl stirs passion in his people. Yes, they are changing it to a $4,000 air-conditioned, unstenched, brilliant colored, buffed up jersey complete with muscle suit and...wait what? MUSCLE SUIT?! Last time I checked, Journal, Eagles are known for their awesome "alpha bird" ness complete with NOT a muscle suit! I mean, c'mon?! What does that even mean? Has our Biola mascot been using the fitness center too, pumping some iron and getting ripped? Well, that's sounds nice...?

Moving on, recently the long awaited "Where the Wild Things Are" movie came to theatres and mixed opinions filled the cafe the day after it's premier. Personally, Journal, I have not seen this film, and most likely won't until I lottery or it comes to the blessed dollar theatre down the road. Until then, Journal, I can't really say anything about it, but anyone who has seen it should vote in the poll. That's all about that.

Well, Journal, that's actually all about anything I suppose. Life is good. GOD is good. And everyday brings something new. Whether it be the evidence of my weak ankles and clumsy height, or the few minutes I spend with someone in the bathroom helping them through one of the hardest times in their life, I always lean on the fact that as unimportant as the little things might seem, in the end, those little things make me who I am, and most likely who I will be. So, until next time friend, bye.